The first time I went partying in Argentina was before I moved there, I went to spend a week visiting family in the north. We went out with an auntie, my sister and some cousins. The night club was quite empty and we had a good time. Leaving the nightclub the street was very crowded and I felt a dude trying to grab my hand so I moved it very fast, he came closer to me and grabbed my hip and a part of my butt with his huge hand. My first reaction was to hit his arm and say fuck off don’t touch me. I walked fast and heart his friends laughing at him, when I told my family what happened they just answered: ah, this is normal.
One year after I actually moved to Buenos Aires to start my bachelor's degree. As every new person in the city I didn’t have many friends or didn’t know who I could consider a potential trusty friend. One day a girl invited me to go out with her and her friends, this night I slept with one of her friends: I wanted to, I danced a lot with him, we had good laughs, he was respecting my boundaries. The next day while we had breakfast together I realized I didn't like him much.. he was dummy, shallow and with no passion in life. I didn’t even give him my number. So in my head it turned this night into my first time doing a one night stand. Some weeks later I went out again with the same girl, I told her that everything was okay with her friend but I preferred to avoid him as I didn’t want to have an awkward moment, it was the first time I had a one night stand and I didn’t really know how to act. She answered that there was no problem, he was not coming this night. We were having fun but in the middle of the night her friends arrived, the dude was there as well. She just looked at me with an “ups” in her eyes and continued to dance and talk with her friends.
Her friends did social pressure for group drinking shots, every time I said “No, I don’t want any more but they were basically forcing me to drink, I wanted to go home.. but my friend wanted to stay. Alcohol hit me hard and I was feeling bad. One moment I couldn’t handle my body anymore and I went to a corner in the back of the club to rest, I had to vomit in a corner. When I put my head up I saw that the guy of the one night stand was in front of me, basically appreciating how drunk I was. I stand up and said excuse me, I am going home and went directly outside to take a taxi. He acted kind and said that he was going to be with me in the taxi, to protect me from the driver and make sure I would arrive home safe.
We entered the taxi and I said my address, 1 minute later I fell asleep on his shoulder. When I woke up I was at his house, he was carrying me to his room, I asked: - Why did you bring me here? - I will take care of you. He put me in his bed and I fell asleep again, when I woke up he was inside me. I asked him to stop and he grabbed me very strong, he faked it was a sexual fantasy. I couldn’t do anything: I was locked. - Are you wearing a condom? I asked He said that without he feels me better and laugh in my face, he grabbed me strong until he finished… of course inside me. When the sun went out I went home. Inside my head I had so many unanswered questions: Why the taxi didn’t take me to the address I told him? Why he needed to abuse of me, if last time I consent. Why his sexual fantasy was to make me feel pain. I stopped by a drug store to buy the day after pill, I ate the pill it in the street with no water.. arriving home I went directly to the shower. I denied for years that this was a rape, because I had already slept with him before. Now I know what happened to me this day. You can be raped by your boyfriend, by your husband, by your best friend. I tried to justify myself this night, that I should have left earlier, that I should have spit the alcohol they were putting in my mouth. Now I know that the problem wasn’t me but him: he is the rapper. I also didn’t go out with the girl anymore. This was not a friend, and would never be.
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